Saturday, November 13, 2004

ENTJ woman like me...

Many NT types feel alone in the world at times. Given their relatively small numbers in the population, this is not surprising. NT females have a particularly difficult time in many instances: INTJ women are estimated at 1-2% of the population in some studies, while ENTJ women have it only slightly better at 2 - 4%. (Source: Charles Martin) While Martin's numbers vary slightly from Kiersey's, by either calculation, it's a small group.

The ENTJ female may find it difficult to select a mate who is not overwhelmed by her strong personality and will. (My husband reminds me of this all the time.)

Whoopi Goldberg and Sigourney Weaver are fellow ENTJ women.

Clearly, gender issues are especially significant for ENTJ females. As a type, their arrogant, confrontational manner and need for control can appear to be quite "unwomanly" to others. Efforts by parents and others to mold them into more traditional female images are usually met with rebellion. Other women usually resent the arrogance of ENTJ females may unwittingly find herself to be a loner, something particularly difficult for Extraverts.

Of course, the problem intensifies for the ENTJ female when dealing with men, even male ENTJs. Their demanding, objective, competent, and independent nature is not particularly endearing to most men. These qualities may obscure the fact that ENTJ females can be quite nurturing and caring. For them, femininity is not defined by traditional roles. It is reflected in the total involvement and commitment they bring to each moment of life.

Relaxation does not come easily to most ENTJs and when it does, it is only because it has been scheduled. Even then it is viewed as one more assignment to master, and ENTJs attack such challenges with zeal and complusiveness. (!!!)

56 Comments:

Blogger MW said...

I'm an ENTJ woman, too.

7:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm an INTJ woman. On the one hand, it doesn't bother me to be alone like it bothers the ENTJ. But on the other hand, then men don't see my independent, controlling personality coming. It shocks them when it finally gets unleashed and they don't know what to do. They either run away or try to change me.

4:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amen! As an ENTJ woman, I schedule yoga, meditation, and reading self-improvement books so I can develop my sensing, feeling, and perception functions. Otherwise, I have 'bossy manager' written on my forehead everywhere I go. Don't get me started with getting recruited to participate in catfights over the role of alpha female. I don't have a lot of patience for men who are insecure in their masculinity or themselves in general and demand an intelligent, forthright woman and then say she's not feminine for being so. I live for NT men who say I'm a breath of fresh air from all the flakes, that finaly they've met a woman who can think for herself, hold her own in an intellectual conversation, and knows what she wants. I click with INTJ men in a heartbeat, whenever I meet them; we engage in philosophical discussions for hours and enjoy it like a vacation. I get along better with men and was playing basketball with the boys when my female peers spent hours primping in the bathroom. I'll dress up when it's appropriate (the office, holidays, dates), but I'm told I think a lot more like a man than like a woman. When you put me in a room with a bunch of strangers, I end up in conversation with physicians, lawyers, engineers, and researchers - the intellect attracts them and repels everyone else. The first woman I got along well with in the workplace was an African American social justice advocate. Our friendship bonded in seconds.

3:40 PM  
Blogger Dr IJC said...

I am also an ENTJ woman and I wouldn't change it for the world. I would however like to see the world recognize our value!!

10:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am also an ENTJ woman. I find many ppl who don't know me well always think I am not feminine but tough and too cold. Anyhow, I don't think I am like that but they are not highly theoritical like me. It's quite hard for me to find a nice guy who can match with my standard (even my ex husband) but I can get along very well with my ex colleagues who now work in regional level.

1:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am currently being divorced by an "ENTJ" woman after 5 years of marriage and significant dating time. As an "INFP", I should have been more aware of the signs and her direct signals early on in our courtship, that she would seek to control, dominate,manipulate and eventually cause our marriage to become a fatality.
The sad thing is that with my tendency to be forever loyal and deeply invested emotionally with someone, I was really hit blindside by her intensiveness and absolute dictatorial ways.
Some family members caught on quick and tried to persuade me to not marry her, but I think it was the passionate sex early on??? I really don't know what burning desire attracted me to this woman and to blindly invest a everything of myself in this relationship .

4:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"...men who say I'm a breath of fresh air from all the flakes, that finaly they've met a woman who can think for herself, hold her own in an intellectual conversation, and knows what she wants."

Being an ENTJ I hear the exact same thing. I click best with INTJ's, too. I love how they stimulate my mind. I get bored quickly with a man who can't keep up with me.

To the INFP who posted above me. Don't take this personal, but it takes two. You said that you should've listened to others. Try working on your Thinking side and maybe you'll avoid getting into another one-sided feeling relationship where you felt you're needs were not meant. Hopefully she will work on her feeling side.

Thing is, us ENTJ women don't mean to be insensitive. Being sensitive doesn't come as easily and natural to us as it does to you. It takes a conscious effort. I do try to work on it. The more you may have demanded(hopefully didn't whine) from her the more she probably rebelled. My point is try to be a little more rational. Good thing you got out, so now it's time to move on. Everything negative or positive is a learning experience. Find something that you can take away from that relationship to make you a better person.

Because of my insensitivity I have been called harsh. Which of course doesn't hurt my feelings.
Just because I look "sweet and innocent" doesn't mean you're going to offend me. haha In fact, offending an ENTJ woman is about impossible.

My parents always say, Pitty the poor man that marries me.

Hilarious.

Power to all the ENTJ women.

10:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As an INTP man...I bet an ENTJ woman would make a great dominatrix.

8:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Also an ENTJ woman + Mensan... but also young, petite, thin & curvy.... so even though I attract men none of them can sustain a conversation or I get the "you're intimidating" if I use a 3 syllable word.. *sigh* so I died my hair blond to confuse them even more ;-)

10:25 AM  
Blogger Martin K. Schreder said...

The bit about scheduled relaxation made me smile.. We are all so alike.. and so different from everybody else =)

3:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's so odd how much I see ENTJs and INTJs thrown into the same arena - and I mean that positively... it's really neat. I'm an INTJ chick who happened to snag an ENTJ guy, and it was an instananeous bond.. which, as we know, is just really effing weird for any INTJ/ENTJ since... as long as either of those two types can remember. We both just recently discovered this kind of personality typing, and it was a shock to read such accurate descriptions of.. well, US.
We're used to a lot of questions and animosity - definitely not things like answers and understanding. It's been really great just.. knowing we actually fit into real and sincere CATEGORIES! hahahaha Just for this once, y'know?
I am very, very fond of my ENTJ, I just want everyone out there to know that.. he is brilliant, ambitious, strategic (and I don't care what anyone says - that is NOT a bad thing!), imaginative, tender, and absolutely hilarious. I wouldn't trade him for anything. Here's an INTJ who says ENTJS ARE GODSENDS!!!!

6:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Eureka! These comments ring so true to me I'm almost in tears. I took the MB test many years ago and was typed ESTJ. I thought "yeah, OK, that'll work". Recently, though (while undergoing a mid-life career evaluation), I realized that I was "misdiagnosed". I'm an ENTJ. Actually, I'm the ENTJ poster child.

While I've managed to be fairly successful in a male-dominated field, my love life stinks. I'm somewhat attractive and don't have trouble getting dates, but I somehow seem to attract INFPs who are attracted to my "strength". At first, I find their "sensitivity" endearing. But, after a while, he thinks I'm a bitch and I think he's a wuss. I've gone thru one husband and numberous boyfriends. It sounds like I need to be on the lookout for INTJs. Comments?

11:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was wondering what the best ay to turn on an ENTJ woman is? Most of you are ENTJ so what do you like?

6:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a great blog. I am an ENTJ and it was very eye opening to learn about my personality type. I didn't realize why exactly I turned people off, I was just trying to be open and positive and work toward the greater good; and I met with resistance from both men and women. I'm glad to be an ENTJ, and the insight has taught me to tune in more to my feelings and the feelings of others. Love the blog! Thanks!

2:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am an ENTJ, and everything I have read here rings so true for me as well. People find me cold and heartless at times, and I do have feelings but I am certainly not going to openly express them to everyone. I'm a college student studying abroad, and I must say - it has been hard. Most of the girls stay away from me, and many of the guys are simply boring. I get along the best with the teachers and staff, who are significantly older than me. The conversations I have with them are so interesting! But I hate the fact that I can't connect with people my own age though, and finding a boyfriend is even more difficult. Most guys are turned off by my being so opinionated, and the ones who aren't scared just can't hold a decent conversation! Is it honestly that difficult to find someone to be with? I feel so alone when I'm not working - it's miserable. I think the problem is that I simply refuse to settle for just anyone - but where is the person I don't have to settle for? Is this personality type simply doomed (as my mother claims I am) to die alone?

1:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay I am with you all on most of your points about being a ENTJ. I believe ENTJ is the best selection for any person. I am pretty sure i originally was a ENTP but my NT told me that to be successful in this world i need to be organized. I am not saying that it is not hard to be a woman and an ENTJ but we have to remember that this is just the way the world turns. So many men mistake us for dominating bitches when in reality we are just in it to win it like so many others. So in order to change the way people think about ENTJ women we need to stop focusing on our differences and start ignoring those who try to call us out on being ourselves. I think it is the P in me, but i have learned to go with the flow when i have to, share the wealth when need be, just because that is what the big picture calls for. Instead of instinctively pushing back when someone says you are being too demanding or dominating, just ignore it and go about your business like normal. It is the women who end up fighting for the sake of fighting that make our ENTJ reputation the way it is. Eventually, as history has shown before us, our personality will blend in and be accepted. It just takes time and acceptance.

10:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's so interesting reading everyone's comments as an ENTJ woman myself. I have to say it's been comforting to see that ENTJ's are attracted to strong men. I think this explains why often times I develop feelings for older men, partly because they've managed to get their stuff together in their life and aren't threatened by the strong vision ENTJ's often have. ANyway great comments.

7:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

SOMEONE SAID ENTJ WOMEN DON'T LIKE TO BE ALONE? WELL THAT'S NOT ME..I'M AN ENTJ AND LOVE BEING ALONE..THUS 43 STILL NOT MARRIED..AND HAPPILY NOT DATING...SO IS IT THAT I'M NOT AN ENTJ OR THAT ENTJ WOMEN ARE OKAY WITH BEING ALONE???

8:34 PM  
Anonymous Hot Mama ENTJ said...

I'm an ENTJ woman who is partnered with an INTP. According to the pesonalitypage.com we are an optimal match! Yeah! I'm an 8 on the ennegram and he is a 5 - again we apparently make a great match - both power, brains, action and forethought.
My best friend is a female INFP - I find working in a female dominated career, filled with Sensing Juding types (SJ) has robbed me a bit of my self-esteem because I have been told I am not a team-player, too abrasive and too confrontational. However, I now realize those are my very strengths also.
Friendship-wise, it has been difficult to sustain long, meaningful and intellectually stimulating relationships with Feeling type women. I'm a go-getter and strategic and great at organizing complex events with flair and flawless execution.
Sadly, I need to get my needs outside of work, but I did resent for a long time the inability of SJ, feeling types to afford me the understanding that I can give them. ( I give them affirmations and appreciation and tone down my intensity when interacting with them)

I love, love love my NT and NF friends who I can be more fully myself around.

Anyhoo, that's my two bits worth, and I'm not a bitch, I'm just extremely capable, effective and confident.

12:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmm I just took the test and found out I'm ENTJ funnily enough my ex liked me cos i had a lot to say in philosophy lessons (and I liked him for the same reason) but when I was with him I tried to be less bossy and got dumped after a month, now I'm confused as to whether i did the right thing. Although I really don't care I've never felt like I needed a mate and my relationship based on philosophical argument with this guy interests me far more than any sexual component. Hmmmmmmm, looks like i should prefer for a life alone.

4:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmm I just took the test and found out I'm ENTJ funnily enough my ex liked me cos i had a lot to say in philosophy lessons (and I liked him for the same reason) but when I was with him I tried to be less bossy and got dumped after a month, now I'm confused as to whether i did the right thing. Although I really don't care I've never felt like I needed a mate and my relationship based on philosophical argument with this guy interests me far more than any sexual component. Hmmmmmmm, looks like i should prefer for a life alone.

4:43 PM  
Anonymous Igor said...

I am an INTp man, and ladies, I feel for you. It is always the feeling of not being with the right person, having to compromise, never being able to be yourself, etc.
You have to find yourself a complementary (E/I, J/P) NT man. It is a bliss being with someone that is like you while complementing each other at the same time.

11:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ENTJ ladies please find an INTP man. Married 12 years and still we totally get each other when nobody else does. The J/P difference adds spice and you will appreciate that he has the amazing ability to look at ever angle and is such a wealth of information. Keeps it always interesting.

5:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am so glad I found this site.
I was misdiagnosed as ESTJ at first.
I was also thinking of taking a philosophy class.

Everything sounds soooo familiar.

3:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Truly a great site...I would have thought I myself wrote most of the comments....really strange but yet so comforting....I was beginning to think i was the lone female entj in the world...thanks everyone...i feel better now...and now i know i'm not nuts....we all are :-).... in very very good ways!!! thank you again to everyone that blogged!!

10:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As an ENTJ female I love how my INTP husband is full of knowledge, perceptive, analytical, fair-minded. I find our conversations very intellectually stimulating. I also value his opinions on business ideas - he's my natural advisor.
For him, I provide structure and social stimulation (e.g., I get him to get out of the house with me!) and I can hold my own against his arguments. He happily stays at home but I need more time to recharge socially, so in that way we spend time a part. We do have activities that we do exclusively with each other which we find is enough to anchor our relationship emotionally.

11:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm an ENTJ female as well.

Having taken the test several times in different places over the years, I suddenly started to take notice two weeks ago. All the character traits make sense. It's been an epithany. But still doesn't help when my female line manager blocks my every move due to her own insecurities and calls me 'bossy'.

We are wonderfull creatures, it is completely illogical that not enough people recognise this fact. And I am always right and never take the straight easy path. I'm out and proud and refuse to conform.
:-)

3:42 PM  
Blogger Windihari said...

My IN/STP husband was the first to tell me I was a control freak. It seems I thought I was more of a warm make you feel at home kind of person . . . but that was something I had to concentrate really hard on.
My whole life respected people have been telling me what is wrong with me (my ESTP mom didn't like how I moved all the furniture to clean a room--my ISFJ first husband hated how I was always playing devil's advocate and making him feel like the woman in the relationship, my ISTJ sister was always wondering why I was over analyzing and categorizing things, and my ENFP brother said I need to let other people have their say even if it is totally inane). I have been listening because I was trying to do the "right thing." But realizing after I got "laid off" for telling the ENFJ boss what was inefficient and confusing about her business' vision statement, I began to realize that most people are very uncomfortable with my strong opinions and how readily I share them. I was shocked! So now that I am embracing that I am an ENTJ and not an ENFP can anyone tell me why my house is NEVER clean?!!! And why is there never enough hours in a day/days in the week to get done what I want to get done? And is it common for ENTJs to always be late because they always think they can squeeze in one more 45 minute job in 15 minutes?

7:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Growing up as an ENTJ child was not easy - coming of age as an ENTJ woman was also not the norm. I wouldn't change my personality but would have liked our unique qualities to be given a fair shake. Now that I have hit my middle years, I have learned not to apologize, or try to be something I'm not. The world probably needs more ENTJ women - too bad that we have empowered society to label us rather than celebrate us as the unique and amazing women that we are.

10:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Where are all the ENTJ women? Im an ENTJ guy and sometimes cant handle most girls. I would love to have a women with the same mindset as me. They consider my attitude as leader among men kinda pompous. I have brave ideas for a relationship but it always get sabotaged by outside influences. Kinda wish I could get fly away with my love to a deserted island sometimes. If I had one. Love and Island Oh well...

7:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm a young ENTJ as well.

I am SO SO happy I stumbled on this blog. I just became interested in personality types a little over a year ago, and I think it is safe to say I've fallen in love. You don't know how good it feels to read everyone's comments about what other ENTJ women think, feel, and go through. For so long, I felt 'different', although I never really discussed this with anyone...except maybe my mother (who happens to be an INTJ).

In previous relationships I was called 'bossy', 'the boss', and simply too 'in control'. Talking this into consideration, I started writing more in the nights, going for jogs, taking yoga... anything that could calm down my mind, cool my need to control, and my need to analyze EVERYTHING!

Truly, I was starting to give up hope on findng someone with whom I was truly happy with. The funny thing about being alone to me was that noone ever belived I was single. As ENTJ's we are, by nature, 'put together', organized, and charismatic, so I never had a problem meeting people and getting them to like me... shit that's easy.. but keeping them due to my overpowering nature was always something that was difficult for me.

The most difficult thing for ENTJ's as over achievers, I think, is that to truly get along with someone in a relationship we have to really really work at it... For me anyway. I find this particularly difficult because usually I so good as everything I do without even trying, and if I do need to work at anything, or put in solid time, effort or passion into a project, then I ALWAYS get results... yet with my relationships I always never do, which is very frustrating to say the least.

I had almost given up hope, as I mentioned, until I met the guy I am with now... Nearly a month and a half ago I met an ENTJ guy (which I thought was something nothing short of a myth). I knew they existed, but our type is so rare I figured the chances of meeting one were slim to none. Yet I did.

So far it's been GREAT! Although, I have noticed his need to control, even ME, who is herself a controller!! That worries me a little bit.. but the best part about us is that WE SPEAK THE SAME LANGUAGE. Honestly if I had written this post a few months ago, I would have written it as a bitter, cynical 22 years old who was completely frustrated by her ENTJness.

I've always loved my type... but I do find it can be stressful at times finding that you do flounder around in a sea wher not alot of individuals speak the way you speak. In turn, I find I end up repeating things alot.

I also agree with previous posts that have mentioned how our type is not traditionally 'female'. I've always felt more mentally male growing up.

The only thing that worries me now, in terms of my new relationship is that I just wont be able to 'cut it' in one. I've been in relationships in the past, but nothing too serious, and they almost always ended badly.
Are ENTJs destin to be alone.. in the end? Honestly, sometimes I still feel that I can't deal with the whole relationship thing... maybe that's just me and not an ENTJ thing...

Regardless, my new man has taught me that we are NOT alone! :):)

9:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi I'm an INTJ man and my close female friend is an ENTJ, Though I'm very independent even tend to be authority independent.We argue a lot.Philosophy, science,politics we discuss everything & always headstrong on our respective ideas...... still I love being controlled & under charge of my her.....Can anybody tell me is this true for other ENTJ/INTJ relationships..she is a GOD-GIFTED ANGEL for me...IRRESISTIBLE

12:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am INFP male, married 8 years to ESTJ female. We get along mostly, through alot of understanding.

I thought the more control I give her the happier we will be, now she has 99% and wants all, and I see no way forward. I loved her with all I got, but that dont mix oil and water any time.

To you young ENTJ, anyone can find love, whatever your type, but for some matches, it takes everything you got to keep it alive. And sometimes love just ain't enough.

3:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This all sounds very frustrating, but try being an INTP man looking for a ENTJ woman.

10:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am an ENTJ and i believe that this is the best personality :) Really though, i do find it hard to explain my emotions and how i feel at times. However i do hide my emotions very well. Does anyone else have that issue?

1:09 AM  
Anonymous Lewis said...

I'm an INTP male and an ENTJ female would be the best match for me. I haven't found anyone that can keep up with the eccentric idea's that keep coming from my head as well as my off-beat humor. An ENTJ would be able counter-balance that. Its just really hard to find an ENTJ female given that only 2-4% of the population is ENTJ.

12:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Look these comments about overbearing wives indicates little self-awareness, not being an ENTJ. I'm only 24 and yet I've spent far more time contemplating how I need to value personal relationships, and what types of relationships will make me happy and how I respect them (and yep, I'm an ENTJ). I'm a huge "pleaser" - it crushes if I'm in any way responsible for unhappiness in a friend or partner.

And I've taken the professional MBTI test at business school, so nope, not a "feeler" but that doesn't mean I can't recognize human need and emotions.

10:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm an ENTJ woman who does have difficulty in friendships with other women, but I'm usually closely bonded to ISTJ or INTJ men. My husband is ISTJ, and I also consider him to be a great friend as well. It's helpful that he was raised by a strong woman, perhaps an ENTJ herself. It's wildly liberating to be in a relationship with a man who is not intimdated by or competitive with me.

1:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Alight this is seriously making my night!!! Its so nice to hear about everyone who plans relaxation time-if you even remember what it is half the time- and the fact that we all have this unending need to be social naturally, but are so off putting to EVERYONE. Its so hard to have a decent conversation and like someone said even harder being a ENTJ girl finding a guy. I just recently met an INTJ and while I've tried to pick every aspect apart, I'm having a fantastic time flirting and I'm kinda falling

6:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've currently found myself in the ENTJ category but am only very slightly more extroverted than introverted. As time goes on I think I may eventually just slide into INTJ-ism. I mention that because it might slightly have something to do with what I'm going to say next. I am all for feeling empowered as an ENTJ woman but reading through these posts I am struck by the tone... I think it is possible to be ENTJ while still allowing some room for humility. As driven as we are towards success, we should recognize that part of the game is being humble enough not to be offputting to other people. If you have not learned that by now and are in fact making it a badge of honor I would question the true extent of your intelligence and ability to think long-term, as ENTJs are known to do. Social intelligence is sometimes as important as your IQ. Just a thought.

10:01 PM  
Blogger Not2bforgot10 said...

I am an ENTJ woman, as well and quite the "alpha." I seem to strangely be attracted to more feminine, ie: softer, gentler men :P In terms of women, I seem to be attracted to extroverts, and for some reason, I tend to attract a LOT of ESFP's LOL (I am unsure how I feel about this). I had an excellent relationship with an ENFJ woman although we butt heads at times with our stubbornness and need to "prove" the other right. I believe I can have a successful relationship with an FJ type, but am open to other types as well. I would be interested in talking with other people, especially other ENTJ's who share a passion for the MBTI. If you would like to discuss the MBTI, please add me to facebook with a personal note attached so I do not delete you by default: Emily Anne Cox

I am a life/motivational coach focused on career and networking with a few long-term interests, ie: MBTI, Enneagram, etc.

4:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

it is so cool to read about other ENTJ women, we are a rare breed!
I just want to say that this year I made friends with an INFP and she really changed me. She taught me to be more in touch with my feelings, to give her space and to appreciate our differences.
I beleive that these two types can make a great match as long as each loves and respects the differences.
I think we ENTJs have to be very careful not to let our career oriented minds and independent personalities prevent us from having a great relationship with our children and husbands.

6:25 AM  
Anonymous Econgirl said...

I'm an ENTJ female college student and I've found it almost impossible to date, and somewhat challenging to make friends. It's challenging when most people my age have no realistic goals or ambitions for themselves, and all they ever want to do is entertain themselves with the inane. Where are some good environments to find more people like myself? I think my college may be too small...

8:07 PM  
Anonymous amber said...

iNTJ woman. College student, the only female in my MBA group, and the youngest person there as well. At every feedback session I am told to be less assertive. Recently a professor told me, and I quote, "the guys are terrified by you". That just made my day!

3:40 AM  
Anonymous Dr ENS said...

Want to attract an ENTJ? Speak your mind, don't back down, listen to what we're saying, and don't give in ALL the time. We respect someone that can stand up to us. If you give in all the time, we'll take you for granted, or, worse yet, lose interest and grow to despise you. Just sayin'.

I love my INTJ hubby-he doesn't take all my crap, digs in his heels if he's not moving, but lets me organize and plan to my heart's content. We're both career oriented and passionate about our jobs and son.

The best thing an ENTJ can find is a friend to tell them how to be more emotionally in-tune in a logical format. We don't understand feelings just because. We need numbers and concrete reasoning on why to do something and how it will benefit us or our work. That person will be treasured above all others in the ENTJ world.

12:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am an ENTJ female and surprisingly I am rather well-liked amongst my peers. I have a very people-oriented side to me and I enjoy being around people, just like an extrovert would. no one has ever told me to my face that they are intimidated by my opinions or direct or openness. I am known to be very open once you know me, but i don't have "bossy manager" written all over my face. I am rather warm and intelligent and I love being in a learning environment. I have enjoyed intellectual conversations with guys and those are the types that I am attracted to, "NTs" I think not all ENTJ females are that bad. I don't really like to be in charge of situations unless I have to but people have told me I would be a good leader.

5:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Uh.. yea. All of the above comments extoling the virtues of the ENTJ woman, BY the ENTJ women only prove one damn thing; you guys are the most arrogant group of twats on the planet. Damn stop congratualting yourselves for being masters of the universe, will ya??? I've been married to one of you love puppies for 15 years, I should know how you all are. Life is a bitch when you're married to a ...... nasty bitch!!

7:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am an ENTJ woman, but my strongest qualifier is N, so I'm actually pretty easy going, compared to most people in this group. As for dating, I simply went out with the first guy who ever had the guts to actually ask me out. Nobody ever asked me out before him. When I ask my male friends why that is, they say that I'm scary to approach even though I'm much more inclined to actually talk to strangers than most of my female friends. I guess I just have a mean looking face. Anyways, we've been dating for three years now and he's absolutely perfect. I got really lucky to find a guy who's so patient with my craziness, since I get pretty psychotic at times. Unexpectedly, he's an INTP since he has more guts than any other guy I've ever met.

7:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm an ENTJ girl and this just made me smile. I've always felt like a bit of an outsider. Thank goodness one of my classmates is also a female ENTJ. We speak the same language! What are the chances of such a discovery? It's quite tiny. Then again, I've found my classmates to be very atypical. Perhaps it's because we're a gifted class. We're almost bound to have the 1%. I find it strange that a previous INFP male has had such trouble with his ENTJ. I work well with INFP guys.

8:07 PM  
Blogger Ross Kay said...

Don't be anon, then someone can find you ;)

3:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was in a relationship for 7yrs with my ex entj, I'm an infj, things were good because we were alike in ideals and worked well together as long as i made a compromise...7yrs of compromising..i ended up having to end it, because she found an intp..this made me very angry, but happy in the same..this was a dom/dom type relationship with no budge. Her motives were either well planned and cunning, or just plain opportunistic impulse. Infp works because they are submissives looking for a master. ENTJ women are perfect dominatrixes, but you better be the best at what you are doing...i diagnosed her unofficially with narcissism, because early in her life she was starved of proper love. She was an angry, rebellious, cunning and Wiley girl who cut down men who bowed even an inch. She never had a father concretely, and still worships my devotion and dedication as a father. I have tested as an infp but i am just a infj with really developed feelings, from having an esfj mother with ptsd..

2:33 PM  
Blogger simplybeautyful said...

where have you been all my life?!
I'm enjoying reading this post. i just find out that i'm an ENTJ woman, and i realized now why i have always find it hard to relate to other women.

This is a breath of fresh air!

4:17 PM  
Anonymous Samantha said...

This is amazing to read all the comments. I think because it is so rare in females, I have been left feeling that it was me who needed to change. I felt that I wasn't doing something right which is why I didn't click with people.

Now I realize that it isn't me, it is just my personality and that there are others out there like me.

When in relationship, I have found that most people need to hear "thank you" and "you did a great job". I don't personally need to hear those things, I like to judge my own work (I do it harshly), but others really need it. Sometimes it feels like I'm going overboard with it and it is uncomfortable but I have noticed people have started responding better to me.

I also have learned that vocalizing reassurance helps things a lot. If I'm talking to someone and they are afraid to give their opinion because they don't want me to criticize it, I have to reassure them that I won't and that I really care what they have to say and just want the best outcome. I don't like to have to do things twice. I'm totally a team player but I can't stand when people move really slow. I have started counting in my head so that I don't rush them to finish things.

I also need to work on not getting mad when people are unable to see my perspective on things. It frustrates me so much when stuff doesn't click as fast or when I can see how the puzzle pieces fit together but others can't. I met an INTP who is helping me with this. I have been watching his interaction with others and I'm trying to learn how to handle those type of situations the way he does.

Tip to guys who are looking for an ENTJ woman: don't back down. For me, it isn't about winning the argument. I just want to be sure all sides of the debate are covered and that I have learned something by the end of it. If I'm doing 99.9% of the talking, I get kinda irritated. I value what you have to say even if I pick it apart.

Another tip: don't take things personally. I don't mean to degrade or invalidate people I just like to speak directly so that there isn't any misconceptions. Misconceptions halt progress.

Final tip: don't think that we don't love you. I find myself not saying "I love you" as much as I see others doing it. If I'm interested in you, then I'm 100% with you. If I'm not, I'll be sure to let you know. I also appreciate the things you do even if I don't tell you.

I met an INTJ two years ago and couldn't believe how well we clicked. It was something I have never felt before. He is completely on my level. I can yell at him and be extremely harsh and he doesn't care. He does the same thing to me. We have excelled at a lot of projects we have taken on. I never really connected with girls throughout my school years but then I got to college and I met an ENTJ girl. I've never had a friend like her before. She just gets life the way I do. She has the same values as well. I have met two INTP's and they are great guys. I know they are my ideal match on paper and I can see why but I'm not in a rush to tie myself to a guy just yet. There is a lot to do in the world.

To my fellow ENTJ women: We are awesome and should never feel like we don't belong in the world. Don't get frustrated, just keep being you and recognize that it takes a special guy to love us.

1:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, and an ENTJ woman, learn to value yourself for your strengths and work on your deficits enough to have people be open to listening to you. Our society currently is a lot harsher on women then men, and since ENTJ women don't fit the stereotypical female type, they get the brunt of scorn, which is unfair. As an ENTJ female, I have found my most enjoyable relationships have been with other N types, NT and NF's. However, quirky, strong, direct, intelligent, and outgoing people of all types usually get my attention.

6:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, as an ENTJ woman, learn to value yourself for your strengths and work on your deficits enough to have people be open to listening to you.

Our society currently is a lot harsher on women than men in general, and since ENTJ women don't fit the stereotypical female type, they get the double brunt of scorn, which is unfair. As an ENTJ female, I have found my most enjoyable relationships have been with other N types, NT and NF's. However, quirky, strong, direct, intelligent, and outgoing people of all types usually get my attention.

6:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this blog almost brought me to tears. really happy to know there are lots of ENTJ women out there who feel the same way.
here's a facebook group to keep the conversation going!!!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ENTJfemales/

12:03 AM  

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